Don't Know What You're Missing Until It's Gone
by JemmaDingDong
Summary: Jac is back from Japan and Jonny is determined not to show how much he's still hurting, but when Jac is taken ill, will they realise what they've been missing?
1. Chapter 1

'Jonny Mac….? Wake up?' Mo called cheerfully, leaning over the nurses' station and clicking her fingers in front of his face. Jonny came back down to earth with a bump, shaking his daydream out of his head before giving Mo the most charming grin he could muster, 'I take it the look of misery on your face means you've seen the rota?'

'If you mean "do I know that Jac is back?", then the answers yes' He muttered. Elliot suddenly appeared, ready for his ward rounds and clapped his hands bracingly.

'Nurse Maconie, Are you ready?' He asked.

'Absolutely, Professor Hope!' He replied with a broad smile. Grabbing the pile of patient notes, he handed the top file to Elliot and followed him towards Bed 1.

Mrs Jenson smiled at them as Jonny handed Elliot the file with a flourish. Opening up the file, Jonny listened with focus as Elliot discussed Mrs Jenson's coronary bypass recovery that was scheduled for that afternoon and jotted down the list of tests and scans he'd requested.

'When will I be able to go home?' Mrs Jenson asked.

'Hopefully, tomorrow' Elliot smiled, 'But I can't make any promises. We'll see what your scans show and go from there'

Saying their farewells to Mrs Jenson, Jonny followed Elliot to the next bed. Turning to pull the curtains, for the first time, Jonny saw her. Jac had arrived at the nurses' station, holding an x-ray up to the light box, discussing it with Tara. He'd not seen her since he'd walked away from her, the night she'd admitted she'd slept with Sean. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, for her to show remorse for what'd she'd done? Instead, she just looked like she did any other day, calm, professional, cold…

'Nurse Maconie? Nurse Maconie?' Elliot called. Jonny almost jumped, spinning around to face him.

'Sorry, Professor Hope' He whispered, sensing Elliot's disappointment.

'Are you alright to continue, Jonny?' He asked gently.

'Yes, of course.' He replied with an apologetic smile.

The whole ward round took half an hour, at the end of which, Jonny had a long list of things to delegate to the junior nurses. Jac had disappeared off the ward again and Jonny strode into his office to catch up the pile of paperwork waiting for him. It was more of a ploy to avoid Jac as best he could.

'You're not hiding are you?' Mo teased, appearing at the open window.

'Hiding? Why would I be hiding?' He snapped.

'Look, I know something bad happened between you and Naylor! I've not seen you like this since…'

'Don't Mo.' He hissed, 'I don't want to talk about it'

'MISS EFFANGA!' A familiar voice bellowed from the ward. Mo rolled her eyes and disappeared out of sight. Jonny took a slow steady breath, trying desperately to get his emotions under control. It had been over a month since she'd hit the detonator on their relationship and his anger had long since given way to acceptance and grief, for the woman he'd mistakenly thought had loved him. Wearily rubbing his hands over his face, he suddenly heard the sound of one of the patient alarms. Kicking back into life, he got hastily to his feet and left the office, knowing it was only time before he had to face her.

Jac stood over Mrs Jessop, giving deep, rapid chest compressions. Stepping away, Mo placed the defibrillator on the salmons and looking up and down the bed, gave the order to stand clear. Jonny watched sadly from the sidelines as Jac looked across at the heart monitor.

'No output' She sighed, 'Are we agreed?' Mo nodded, bowing her head, 'Time of death 09.20'

'I'll call her husband in' Jonny said quietly to Elliot, turning to walk away.

'Nurse Maconie, let me know when he gets here' Jac called after him with a withering look. Jonny's jaw twitched involuntarily in protest of her tone of voice.

'Of course, Ms Naylor' He whispered with as little emotion as possible, 'I'll page you when he arrives' And with the faintest hint of a smile, strode into his office and slammed the door behind them.

Jac watched him walk away, unsurprised by Jonny's behaviour. She'd never expected to be welcomed back onto the ward with flowers and bunting, but the discovery that Jonny hated her now as much as he'd expressed when she'd confessed the truth. She could only hope that now she was back, he would see how sorry she was.

'Ms Naylor?' Ollie called, 'AAU on the phone for you? They need an urgent consult'

Glancing over her shoulder, she could see Jonny through the glass, his forehead resting in his hand as he held the phone to his ear. He noticed her and with a sad smile, turned his back on her.

'Tell them I'll be straight down…' She sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

An hour and a half later, Jonny pressed a cup of tea into Mr Jenson's shaking hands. He'd paged Jac twice, even phoning AAU to find out where she'd gone, to no response before resignedly taking it upon himself to break the bad news to Mr Jenson. He'd taken it surprisingly calmly, no hysterics or outbursts of rage like some distraught relatives. There was a quiet knock on the door and Jonny looked up to see a nervous looking Ollie in the doorway.

'Nurse Maconie, have you got a minute?'

'Can't it wait?' He sighed, not delighted at the thought of leaving Mr Jenson so soon after telling him his wife had just died.

'Mr Levy called?' He said, with a shrug, 'He asked if you could pop down and see him if you're free?'

'Mr Levy?' Jonny frowned, bewildered by the request, 'Did he say why?'

'No idea… Transplant thing, maybe?' He suggested, 'I can stay with Mr Jenson if you'd like?'

'Fine' Jonny sighed, rubbing his forehead, 'I'm really sorry Mr Jenson, my colleague Dr Valentine will answer any questions you have'

There was no response and Jonny patted him on the arm as he got to his feet.

Stepping out of the lift on the ground floor, he was still baffled as to why they wanted him down on AAU. It wasn't a ward he ever spent a huge period of time on.

'Ah, Jonny! Thanks for coming down, I know you must be busy up on Darwin…' Sacha called, striding across the ward to greet him. Jonny felt his anxiety lift; nobody ever failed to relax when talking to Sacha.

'Not at all' Jonny replied with a smile, 'What can I do for you?'

'Yes, right, that…' Sacha whispered, suddenly looking down at the floor, 'Come into the office, there's something I need to talk to you about?'

An ominous feeling suddenly descended as if Sacha had inadvertently lulled him into a false sense of security with the unfaltering kindness in his smile. Sacha waved to the low departure lounge style chair beside the door, before wheeling the desk chair towards him.

'Jonny… Jonny, Jonny, Jonny…' Sacha sighed, wringing his hands together, 'I heard about what happened between you and Jac.'

'Right…' He replied, not sure where the conversation was going.

'And I can imagine you're still feeling quite raw? Quite angry? About the whole thing?' He said quietly. Jonny crossed his legs, now completely confused, 'I'm sorry for intruding, I doubt you want to talk about it with me'

'No, its fine' Jonny sighed, 'I'm just not sure why I'm here, that's all'

'Right, of course' Sacha whispered. He seemed to take a deep breath and looked Jonny in the eye, 'Jac collapsed earlier, when she came down to see a patient'

Jonny stiffened, his eyes widening.

'Collapsed?' He breathed, fearfully, 'What the hell do you mean she collapsed?'

'Chrissie found her in the ladies toilets, having suffered a major PV bleed. Gynaecology took her straight into theatre but we suspect she's had an ectopic pregnancy'

'What?' He stammered, 'An ectopic pregnancy? She was pregnant? Why am I here?'

'An initial ultrasound suggests she was about seven weeks along. That's before everything that happened with Sean'

Putting his head in his hands, he rubbed the top of his head, trying to get his head around what he'd just been told. A bombshell didn't seem to quite cover it. And he still felt angry with her.

'Jonny, I know this must be a lot to take in, but that's not the reason I asked to see you'

Jonny lifted his head and raised his eyebrows, unsure if anything Sacha had to say could top what he'd just said.

'We had to put a call in to HR to get the details of Jac's next of kin…' Jonny had a horrible feeling where Sacha was going with the conversation, 'and since she arrived at Holby, she'd never given them a name, but it would seem after she returned from Sweden, she went to them and asked them to put you down as her next of kin'

'I'm what?' Jonny replied weakly.

'Jac hasn't had any contact with her family for quite some time' Sacha said quietly.

'Yeah, I know all that…' He whispered, 'Jac told me'

'Look, Jonny, I know things are bad between you at the moment' Sacha sighed, 'But I know Jac. She's currently undergoing life-threatening surgery and will wake up in a few hours, scared, alone and in pain.'

Jonny slumped back in his seat and sighed.

'I'm sorry, Sacha, I don't think I can do that…'


	3. Chapter 3

Hunched over the desk, Jonny couldn't focus. The more he tried to get on with his job, the more his thoughts returned to Jac. He could have lost her today. If Chrissie hadn't found her when she had, she could have been dead by the time anyone found her. And then there was the pregnancy… The last conversation they'd had, he'd told her how much he wanted to settle down, have children. She would have been a few weeks gone already when she'd tried to convince him that she could settle down too. His heart would have soared to hear her say those words, if only she'd not blown their relationship sky high by admitting she'd slept with Sean.

He and Mo had analysed it and over-analysed it that night at Albie's. And he couldn't fault her motives for telling him. It would only have been a matter of time before word had reached him through the Holby grapevine, and it was by far the lesser of two evils, hearing it from the horse's mouth and overhearing the gossiping staff nurses on their coffee break… He even understood why she might have drunk herself to obliteration that night. He'd been deadly serious when he'd told her that he wasn't sure he'd be so cool about her getting married to someone else; you only had to look at her face when Joseph's wedding was mentioned to work out how much he must have meant to her.

Yet, it didn't alter the facts of the situation. Regardless of her motives or her state of mind that night, she'd still slept with someone else. He'd been in love with her almost from first sight and had come to believe that she was beginning to fall in love with him too. He'd missed her more than he could say in words, despite being furious that she'd vanished to Japan with barely more than two words to the department, but the chances of him fully trusting her again after this were slim.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been hiding in the office but it was only ever going to be a matter of time before somebody found him. Leaving his thoughts, he spun around in his chair and smiled at Elliot standing in the doorway.

'Professor Hope, what can I do for you?' He asked cheerfully.

'Are you busy?' Elliot asked with a smile.

'That depends on what you're about to ask me to do!' Jonny joked. Elliot didn't laugh but the corners of his mouth twitched slightly.

'You've got a visitor. She's waiting in my office'

Without another word, Elliot vanished again and Jonny leapt to his feet after him.

'A visitor? Who?' Jonny asked, panicking at the numerous possibilities flying through his mind.

'So you're not lying dead in a ditch, Jonathan…'

Jonny spun around in the direction of Elliot's office to see the one person he'd not expected to see. His elder sister stood leaning against the doorframe, her arms folded across her chest gazing sternly at him.

'Jo? What the hell…' He began to say, staring at her in a mixture of surprise and horror. And then he remembered. 'Oh God… I'm so sorry!'

'I'll leave you to it…' Elliot whispered.

'I've been trying to call you all morning, Jonny.' Jo muttered furiously as Jonny rushed towards her. Following her into Elliot and Jac's office, Jonny tried not to look at Jac's desk, her current location too painful to think at that moment.

'I'm sorry, Jo, I really am, I completely forgot…' He stammered, as always, his confidence failing him when faced with the glower of his sister. His six month old niece sat gurgling in her pushchair in the centre of the office and Jo bent over to lift her out.

'Are you still ok to take her for the weekend?' Jo asked, pressing her into his arms, 'Because if it's going to be too much, Pete and I can find alternative arrangements?'

'No, no, we'll be fine, won't we Emily?' He said, bouncing her on his hip. She laughed, reaching for his nose causing Jonny to blow a raspberry at her and sending her into another fit of giggles, 'She thinks so!'

Jo sent him a dirty look, pressing a large hold all into his hand. Dumping it on the sofa behind him, he turned to see Jo peering out of the office door and out to the ward.

'What is it?' He asked, wondering what she was looking for.

'Oh nothing…' She replied vaguely, 'Just something Gran said…'

'What did Gran say?' Jonny asked suspiciously, 'What's she been telling you?'

'There's no need to get quite so jumpy, Jonny!' Jo laughed, 'She just wanted me to clock a look at this girlfriend of yours…'

'She's not here' Jonny sighed, 'And she's not my girlfriend'

'Gran says you won't shut up about her' Jo teased. Jonny scowled, biting his tongue, 'Don't tell me it's all gone pear shaped? Gran will be gutted!'

'I don't really want to talk about it' Jonny sighed.

'Yeah, because you don't like pity… I've heard that before' Jo muttered, closing the door behind her, 'I'm not leaving until you've told me everything'

Jonny rolled his eyes realising he should have lied. Jo was like a dog with a bone and she wasn't going to leave until she'd squeezed every last drop of gossip from him…


	4. Chapter 4

It was just like their many stand offs as children. Jo wanted something and Jonny wasn't going to let her have it. He was the youngest, with three older sisters and he'd learnt early on how to hold his ground in the face of an onslaught. Taking a deep breath to keep his temper, to Jonny's relief, a knock at the door finally broke the stalemate.

'Jonny, Sacha on the phone for you' Mo called. She suddenly stopped, seeing Jo and laughed, 'I wasn't expecting to see you here!'

The two women embraced each other with a hug and Jonny saw his opportunity to escape. Hastily putting Emily back into her push chair, he dove out of the office, rubbing his face wearily as he shut the door behind them. Grabbing the phone off nurse's station, he closed his eyes and braced himself.

'Hello?'

'Jonny, hi. It's Sacha here'

'Hi Sacha, what can I do for you?' He asked, chewing the inside of his lip.

'I thought you'd want to know, but Jac is out of theatre.'

'Err, right...' Jonny replied, wondering why Sacha was taking the time to call him, given how he'd walked away from AAU a few hours ago. He could hear Elliot muttering about Jac's absence behind him.

'Now, I know things aren't great between you, but I'd really like you to reconsider?'

'Things are a bit mental up here at the moment...' He lied, looking around at the silent ward, 'But I'll think about it'

'Ok, fair enough' Sacha replied cheerfully, 'But if you do get a moment, she's down here on AAU, whilst we wait for a bed in Obs and Gynae'

'Right...' Jonny whispered, distracted by the sound of Mo and Jo leaving the office for the staff room. 'Like I said, I'll think about it.' Elliot stood in front of him, smiling expectantly at him.

'Is that AAU?' He mouthed. Jonny nodded, putting his hand over the end of the receiver. 'Do you think you could ask when they'll be finished with Ms Naylor? She's supposed to be in theatre with me in half an hour and she's not answering her pager or her mobile'

Jonny sighed, returning to the phone 'Sacha? Professor Hope would like a word'

Before Elliot could complain, Jonny pushed the phone at him and walked away from the nurses' station, suddenly feeling desperate for some fresh air.

Mo found him, fifteen minutes later, clutching two paper cups of coffee. Gratefully taking one, he tried not to look at her as she sat down heavily beside him.

'You've known all morning, haven't you?' She sighed.

'That Jac collapsed on AAU?' He replied, glancing across at her. Taking a gulp of coffee, he bowed his head, 'Yeah, Sacha told me earlier. Apparently she put me down as her next of kin. Haven't you got patients to see?'

'Don't you?' Mo replied, 'Elliot told me to come and find you. He can handle things for half an hour. Jonny Mac, I'm your best mate, what happened? I don't think I've ever seen you this mopey...'

'Me? Mopey? Bit rich coming from you!' He muttered. Mo chuckled and Jonny shut his eyes for a moment. Composing his thoughts, he exhaled slowly, 'Jac and I aren't together anymore'

'You really think I needed to be told that?' Mo asked, raising one eyebrow, 'I also don't need to be told that you fell for her on our first day here and that she's broken your heart...'

'Before our first day... I met her at the people skills course' He sighed, 'Took me ten minutes...'

'So what the hell went wrong?'

Jonny didn't want to tell her, they had a stormy enough relationship as it was without the truth about their break up being thrown into the mix.

'She slept with Sean. After the whole Caitlin Laidlaw debacle. They went back to her flat and...' The image his mind was creating was painful beyond words and he couldn't finish the sentence. Mo simply stared at him.

'That explains why she was so keen to take up her place on that course in Japan.' Mo sighed, 'What about today? Elliot didn't say what was wrong with her, he just said she'd collapsed down on AAU'

'Shock due to ectopic pregnancy. But I've not told you that'

'Yours or Dolan's?'

'Mine' He sighed, 'She was a few months gone and Sean was just a one night thing'

'Do you still love her?' Mo asked, curiously. Jonny looked up sharply and sighed.

'Do you honestly think I could her this much if I didn't?' He sighed.


	5. Chapter 5

The last time Jac had woken up in a hospital bed, she'd had the same horrible stinging sensation in her abdomen. It was like a bad dream – coming into work as a doctor and leaving as a patient; but as she listening to the beating of the nearby monitor and tried to sit up, the pain told her that this definitely wasn't a dream.

'Sacha?' She groaned, realising the familiar bear-like man was standing at the foot of her bed.

'Hey, how are you feeling?'

'Like I've been run over...' She grumbled, 'What happened to me?'

'Chrissie found you collapsed in the loos' He said gently, sitting him down on the edge of the bed beside her, 'You've suffered an ectopic pregnancy'

Jac blinked as he said the words. It explained the pain, that's for sure. Trying to sit up, it shot through her like needs and Sacha placed a hand on her shoulder, forcing her back down.

'The surgeon managed to save the ovary but they had to take out the damaged section of fallopian tube. You lost a fair amount of blood and you'll be in for a few days, but there is no reason to think that you will suffer any major long term effects'

'Great...' Jac muttered crossly, thinking about how much time she was going to have to take off work.

'Now, you're not going to like this, but you're going to have to stay put and get some rest, ok?'

'I haven't got much choice, have I?' She grumbled. Sacha smirked and got to his feet. Patting her arm affectionately, he smiled.

'I'll come and see you again in a bit'

Left alone for no more than a few minutes, the door of the side room opened and Jac frowned as a middle aged woman with blonde pony tail, carrying a baby put her head around the door.

'Is it Jac?' She asked curiously.

'Depends who's asking...' Jac responded coolly, 'Who are you?'

'Sorry, we've not met. I was looking for Nurse Maconie, that's all...'

'Well, I've no idea why you're looking in here, he works on a completely different ward.' Jac muttered crossly.

'I know that, thanks' The woman sighed, giving Jac an unimpressed look. The baby was staring at Jac intently and she found herself imagining being the one holding the baby, until a sharp stab in her stomach reminded her of what had just happened. She was sure she'd seen her face somewhere before but her brain was too foggy to place it. 'If he pops by, will you tell him Jo is looking for him?'

'You're Jo?' Jac whispered weakly, trying to sit up again. She suddenly realised where she'd seen her face before. There was a photo of her, holding a newborn baby, in pride of place on Jonny's fridge, 'You're his sister?'

'Yeah, that's right.' She frowned, closing the door, 'How do you know that?'

'I work with him, that's all...' She lied.

'Oh right, yeah, I knew that. I was up on Darwin when the old Professor guy told everyone that you'd been taken ill. That's how I knew you were here'

'Elliot told everyone?' Jac asked, her temper suddenly flaring.

'Yeah' Jo shrugged, 'They were trying to redistribute your patients'

'Oh great...' Jac muttered, 'I guess that means Jonny knows then...'

'That's what I was hoping' Jo laughed, somewhat disgruntled, 'But he wasn't on the ward at the time, so it was more of a wild guess. My brother's a soft touch...'

'He's a good nurse' Jac sighed, 'But you won't find him down here. I'm not his favourite person'

Jo's expression suddenly changed and she stared at her with wide eyes.

'You're her, aren't you?' She whispered, excitedly, 'You're the girl...'

'I don't know what you mean' Jac lied.

'Sorry. According to my grandmother, Jonny's fallen for one of the doctors on his ward. Apparently doesn't stop talking about her. But when I saw him earlier, it sounded like it had all fallen apart. It's a shame, he came to Scotland for the New Year and I don't think I'd seen him so happy'

Jac remembered the week between Christmas and New Year, they'd both had the week off work and they'd not left each other's side, practically moving in together. Things had never been better, and now it was all over.

'Some times these things aren't meant to be...' Jac whispered.

'No you're right. It's a shame though; we all thought he'd found the one, but it sounds like she broke his heart, but there's nothing any of us can do about that now'

Jac forced a smile, aware the heart monitor was starting to increase. Glancing up at it, she watched her BP begin to fall as her pulse increased. Feeling woozy, she tried to tell Jo to get help, but she could hear the words struggling to get out of her mouth as HDU began to go fuzzy...


	6. Chapter 6

Jonny knew he would never settle unless he saw her. Sacha caught his eye and smiled he walked into AAU, Mo watching encouragingly from the door. Regardless of what had happened to their relationship, she'd still been pregnant with his child. Not to mention that he'd admitted to Mo that he still loved her as much as he'd ever done.

Reaching the door of HDU, he suddenly realised Jac wasn't alone. Peering through the window, he furrowed his brow as he saw Jo, holding Emily, standing at the end of Jac's bed. How on earth Jo had found out, he didn't want to find out. Yet somehow he wasn't surprised. Jo had always been a determined so-and-so...

Jo's face suddenly looked worried and Jonny wished he knew what they were talking about. Shifting his position, he tried to catch a glimpse of Jac, wondering if she'd put up her icy defences. The crash alarm suddenly began to sound and he could see Jac's head slip forward limply.

'SACHA!' He bellowed over his shoulder, throwing the door open. Flying to Jac's side, all his years of training and experience as a nurse disappeared before his eyes. Sacha rushed to the opposite side of her bed and dropped the bed down to the horizontal, hitting the big emergency button above her head.

'Jac? Jac? Can you hear me?' He called as staff rushed in from all directions, 'BP's dropping, Pulse is rising... We've got a bleed. Page Mr Judd, tell him we're taking her back into theatre'

Jonny felt like he was watching a film as he stood numbly by, the nurses rushed Jac out of HDU and out of sight. The gravity of her condition had finally hit him, the same way he'd seen happen in the relatives of hundreds of patients...

Sitting opposite Jo, turning the coffee mug around in his hands, Jonny had never felt fear like he felt at that moment. It was bad enough that she'd collapsed when he had refused to forgive her was bad enough, but to deteriorate when she'd been doing so well, just as he'd decided that he needed to try and find a way to fix their relationship was a pain almost almost unbearable. He'd been aware of Jo talking at him for the last ten minutes, but he'd long since stopped listening to what she was saying. Placing a hand on his wrist, she looked at him firmly.

'Are you going to be alright with Emily for the weekend?'

'Oh, are you going?' He asked, somewhat surprised before realising she had her coat on.

'I'm sorry. I don't want to leave you like this but I promised Pete...'

'No, no, you go' He replied, forcing a smile, 'Emily and I will be fine, won't we Em?' He said, ticking her chin affectionately. Emily gurgled and Jonny found his smile fading abruptly, a painful vision of what might have been suddenly flashed across his mine.

'She'll pull through, Jonny' Jo whispered, leaning across to kiss his cheek, 'Just be sure to tell her, yeah?'

'Tell her what?' Jonny asked with alarm. Jo raised her eyebrows with mocking disbelief, shaking her head at him. Saying farewell to her daughter, with a single goodbye, Jonny watched his sister walk away. Emily let out a loud gurgle from her pushchair and he sighed, undoing the buckle. Sitting her on his knee, he was grateful Elliot had signed him off for the rest of his shift before finally his phone vibrated on the coffee table. Opening the text message, he knew it was time to return to AAU.

Jac tried to open her eyes as the anaesethic began to wear off. Groggy didn't quite cover it as the world slowly came into focus around her. Staring at the ceiling, she suddenly realised she wasn't alone.

'Hey' A voice said quietly beside her. It seemed to take all her strength to turn her head towards the voice and her eyes widened as she saw Jonny sitting at her bedside, a blonde baby on his knee, reaching for his face, 'How are you feeling?'

'Wha... What are you doing here?' She asked hoarsely, looking away. There was something about the way he held the baby, the calmness of which he'd removed her tiny hand from his nose.

'You're not well, Jac' He sighed, sounding weary, 'I didn't want you to wake up alone'

'You weren't here earlier...' She coughed.

'I know and I'm sorry' He whispered, 'I should have been here'

'Why? You made your feelings pretty clear...' She muttered, staring up at the ceiling. Her eyes were stinging but she was resolute in her determination not to cry in front of him.

'Jac, you slept with someone else. What was I meant to do? Roll over and forgive you? Carry on as if nothing had happened? Pretend you hadn't just broken my heart?' Jac suddenly snapped her head to look at him again, realising he wasn't being sarcastic. Turning away again, she blinked away her tears as Jonny reached for her hand, 'I'm not going to sit here and pretend everything is rosy, I can't just roll over and forget what you did...'

'Then what are you doing here?' Jac choked angrily, her eyes burning, 'Just trying to rub it in... Because I don't need you to tell me what I did was wrong, alright?'

Jonny didn't let go of her hand, squeezing it tighter.

'Jac, you broke my heart, but I think you broke your own...' He whispered. He suddenly let go and she watched him from the corner of her eye, lift the baby up, kissing her forehead as he replaced her in the nearby pushchair. Returning to the chair at her bedside, he smiled weakly at her, drawing the chair closer. Taking both her hand in both of his, he seemed troubled for a moment, his brow deeply furrowed as he thought, 'That night I told you I wanted a wife and kids and a dog and roses around the door... I wasn't being completely honest. More than anything, Jac, I want...' His voice faltered and he stopped playing with her fingers to glance up momentarily at her. She could the sheen in his eyes before he quickly returned to studying her hand, 'I just want to be happy and with you, I was happy...'

'It's alright, I understand' Jac whispered.

'No you don't Jac' He sighed, shaking his head. She was sure he was smiling and when he lifted his head, she saw his sparkling eyes and a broad Maconie smile, 'I think I fell in love with you the moment you told me if you turned off your phone, you'd be endangering lives... I told you I was a soft touch' He joked, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

'Spit it out, man...' She muttered, her mouth unable to help twitching. Jonny laughed, lifting her fingers to his lips.

'You're the most sarcastic, bitchiest, moodiest woman I have ever met, but for some reason, it only makes me love you more...'

'Does this mean you've forgiven me?' She asked.

'That depends...' He teased.

'On what?' She stammered.

'I've not forgotten that you owe me hot sex in the linen cupboard...'

Jac's jaw dropped in horror before a broad grin spread across Jonny's face and she realised he was joking. Leaning across, he pressed his lips to hers, steadying her face with his hand. Pulling away, he smiled.

'Does that answer your question?' He asked with a wink. There was suddenly a gurgle from the pushchair and he caught her eye with a smile, 'Now, Ms Naylor, there is a very special person who I'd like you to meet...'


End file.
